Ever since the night I said, "let's break up", I said to myself never to think of him again. The day I found out those ugly truths from his blog, I vowed never to be soft-hearted again. The day I teared in dear's arm, I promised never to cry again over this unworthy relationship. The day I told him not to contact me, I told myself to forget him completely. Time will heal it all.


Tonight, he called again. I answered. There he goes with his honey-ed words. And to be honest, I wasnt a bit move. I just felt whatever he said were lies. Once bitten, twice shy. I dont wanna get hurt again. Never again. Especially by him. I wont allow him to hurt me again. I am getting more protective of myself. No doubt, I gave him a chance to say whatever he wanted to.

Maybe he meant what he said, maybe he dont. But does it really matter? No longer to me I guess. Why wait till when you lose something, then only will you learn to cherish? Don't say those things to me if you don't love me. Don't go hurting me again. I can't withstand the pressure anymore especially at this point of time.



As I was talking to him, mom came to my room. As soon as she realised I was talking to him. She started rubbing salt into the wound which made me even more stressed and frustrated. I am trying my very best to suppress those negative feelings within me. I kept quiet. I pretended I heard nothing. But she just went on and on which made me even more annoyed. I couldnt take it anymore. I blasted at her, asking her to stop. I went to the toilet, and I broke down again. I really couldnt take it any longer.



Nobody will understand what am I thinking bout now. Even I, myself don't understand too! Not that I am still unable to get over it. But it is not easy. It is not a thing that can be put behind me overnight. The hurt is still there. Something which only time will heals it all. For projects and assignments, not that I dont wanna do. Is I really dont know how. I really felt god damn stress! So stress that I can barely breathe. I feel like breaking down! I feel like giving up!! But I know I can't.

I seriously dont know how or what to do anymore. I am at my wits ends. I am really very tired. So is everyone I know.

One thing that will never fails to put a smile on my face at this point of time, is baby. I am glad that I have a loving baby who cares for me endlessly. Who always never fails to put a smile on my face by doing those silly things of hers and satisfied my craving every now and then. Sorry baby if I am unreasonable at times. You know, iloveyou so.



Anyway, I shall see how it goes.. .. ..

I just realised. I have been updating this blog very often. Based on the current situation, it is like everyday. Lol. Another day had just passed. Neither good nor bad. I dont know. Or maybe more to the negative side? Ha. I dont know how or what to feel anymore. All I know is, Im tired. Be it mentally or physically, I am tired. I really am.

Anyway, just gotten a set of new clothes for cny. If I didnt agree to go AMK hub with mom and shop around, she would probably continue to nag at me for the next few days. But since I've already got one set, so her naggings will lessen. She asked if Im free on thurs to go shopping as she is not working on that day. Hmm. Come to think of it, I have no class on thursday. Isnt it cool? So yea, shopping on thursday (:

I know I shouldnt be going back to that site to keep reading bout it. It will just bring back painful and unpleasant memories. And each time I goes back to read, I will find out more ugly truths about it. Damn fingers for clicking on the url! Damn memory for remembering that url! Can someone give me a hard knock on my head so I will have concussion? And hence, I will forget everything ):

Today, I posed a very random question to dear. I asked her, "what if one day i go 'MIA'? As in i just disappear for a day and you're unable to contact me?". Dear was like looking at me in a serious manner. Oh well dear. Just for a day what. Hmmm. Why I say so, reason is simple. I just wanna get away from everything. I dont know. I feel like doing so. But I will rather not, cos I don't know what will happened to my silly dear. I dont know what silly things she might do. Hmm. I know running away doesnt solve the problem. But still, oh well.

I guess sometimes I really gotta admit. A Taurus is stubborn and gets jealous easily. Well, I am real stubborn. Easily jealous, hmmm. Maybe? I dont know. Hahaas! And that they love to sleep and can be lazy. Hmmm. Isnt it talking bout me? Oh well well.

Have a sudden urge to see dear so much. I dont know why. Or maybe like what she said, cos she didnt see me home today. And the time spent today is damn damn short )): But we had desserts today!! ((: I want my pancake still though. I want a huggg!!! Sigh )): Oh well. Im not good in words. But still.. ILOVEYOU LOADS BABY! I am looking forward to see you tmr (:

Hmm. Alright. I think I shall stop my ranting for tonight. Im so tired. I cant take it anymore. I am going to bed soon. Goodnight world (:

p/s: Thanks merf for that e-mail (: I appreciated it.

Human system is so weird. The more you wanna forget some things, the more they occupy your memory spaces. And all the more you wanna remember some things, *pooof*, the next moment they're gone! Why so? Cant we be like computer system, delete those you don't want and keep those you want nicely in a folder?

Oh well. I think this is how humans are designed to be.

I find that my life is moving in a too fast pace. I guess it is time to slow down a bit to look at my surroundings. Look at what's going on in the world. Look at those who are far more pathetic than me. Then only, I will start reflecting on myself. Well. To them, my stress/problems are peanuts. I think what I should do is, stretch out my helping hands to them. I was thinking, where did my conscious went to?

Anyway. I seems to unable to control my emotions. Just now while doing work with baby just now, i felt like crying in her arms. I dont know why. And for the whole day, I was tickled by every single trival things and I would go laughing at them non-stop.

I really feel very very very tired. Same goes to my mates and baby.

But despite it all, I felt real loved and blessed. With baby around. And wonderful parents I've got. Not forgetting my bro. Though he is very irritating at times (:

I have 2 wonderful parents who treated me like their precious gem. Every words they said, melted my heart. I felt guilty for the way i treated them in the past. I understand, they just dont wanna see me hurt. They just want me to get over it, esp mom. She have been checking on me every now and then to make sure i am doing fine. Hahas. And dad. I guess he just want me to spend more time with him and family. Hahas!

And baby! Everything she did, everything she said, it all seems like a dream. I never wanna wake up. I just wish the time will stop right there, right at that moment. Words can never be enough to tell how i feel for her. Baby, 3 simple words - ILOVEYOU is all i can say. . . . .

Let bygones be bygones. I will never cry over this matter anymore cos it is bloody useless. Yesterday shall be the last (: No point keep harping on the fact that im dumb. Since I can't turn back time. I can only move on.

And baby, thanks! ILOVEYOU (: Now, you're my one and only (:

Our dear huiling just turned 19 this year. So here, we shall sing a birthday song to her alright? Here it goes people (:


Oops. I think she gonna whack when she sees this. Come on la Huiling. I know you are very touched inside right. Just admit it. Say thank you to me when you see me online okie? hahas!! Kidding la. Here it goes girl. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! May all your wishes come true. So if you desprately wanna meet me like jiaen and sumin, put "I want to meet rhowena now!" in your wishlist okie? It will come true very soon, trust me. Hahas!

Oh well. Jiaen and sumin sure gonna kill me when they see me. Cos i haven't got the time to meet them any sooner. They sure gonna say, "rhowena chia! you very busy hor!!". Hahahas! How i know? Of cos la. How long have we know each other? Somemore we used to be in the same competition team fighting 'wars' together one eh. If this kinda small thing I dont even know, I fail as a leader of the team. Right? HAHAHAHAHAS!

Sorry to those who have been asking me out. My time management is real bad. I promise. I will reserve a slot for you girls alright? After exams that is. Oops! Don't whack me! Don't hit my face! Don't pull my hair! Hahahas! Sorry la. Really very busy nowadays. I rememeber who i owe a date. Don't worry. Hmmm. Jiaen, sumin, huiling, weiping, arisa, ting ting. Erm who else did i missed out? NC6! Oh yea! Donkey years back, I told Lion and yvonne, meet up soon. HAHAHAHAHAS! And then, erm. Weather very nice ah! Hahahas!

Went over to novena to meet dear after my class. Prata-ed again. And she looked extremely tired today la! Haiya! I dont like =/ She was practically like a walking zombie tonight. Then again, at least she still laughed and frowned. Phew! Luckily she still did those ah! But then, dont know what's wrong with her also. Laughed and frowned in a while. No expression next. *speechless* Chiam ah! Something is wrong with my baby! Oh dear oh dear! What to do sia!

I dont know why am i so hyper tonight. No doubt I am tired. Still, I am hyper! Oh yea! I want to add on. Pratas today were DISAPPOINTING! The service provided today SUCKS TOTALLY! Curry also KAN NA SAI today! Practically, everything SUCKS LA! Bus-ed back. I think the driver wanna eat snake. Drive like as if the road have got no car. *Ahem* I shall not comment on the bus driver. Ask me in msn if you want to know ya. Ha! Luckily I am safe ah. If not!! Hmmm.

Siao liao! I just remembered the 3 Cs. Dont criticise, condemn and complain. Chiam liao la! Fail already. I better stop blogging. BYEEEEEE!!

Mood is swinging on 2 extreme ends again. Stress stress stress! What is stress? What is sleep? What is fun now? WA LAO EH!! Anyone please, take a knife and stab me to death. AHHHHHH!! I wanna sleep for 12hours, 24 hours, 48 hours. I dont wanna wake up at all!! I wanna go on a holiday. I wanna get away from here!! Good for you baby. You are going on a holiday )):

Bloody hell! I am on the verge of crying already. I need to find ways to relieve myself. Im snapping like an over-stretched rubber band. Snapping into 2 soon. I wanna cry! I felt very uncomfortable inside. BABY, I WANT HUGGGGG!! Sigh!!

Looking at few weeks back, Baby and I have been on food hunting, walking aimlessly and spending time like endlessly. Look at now? Where got time to satisfy our cravings? I will be just glad that we have time for to have dinner and walk home together. Nothing more I am asking for. Cos I know the more I ask, the more disappointments there will be. Time is the obstacles. TIME TIME TIME! We need time!

Had dinner with baby just now. Hmmm. Wanted to walk her home so as to keep her awake while walking. Told a white lie. Claimed that I am going to somewhere near her hous to get things. After dinner, urgh!! She lied to me bout going home to get things for me. But in actual fact, she went up put her things, and come down again. Wad the... Sigh! Nevertheless, I enjoyed the walk back with her

I wanna spend endless time with baby. I wanna sit beside her quietly and watch her play my psp( nvm, if she ignore me). I wanna take bus to go everywhere with her )): I wanna go for a movie with her )): Seeee! Things were all good. Unlike now. She is feeling so stress and stuffs. Her chest has been hurting for the whole day too )): URGHHHHH!!

MY LIFE IS SCREWED NOW!! And that I dont know what to do. Sigh! Take me away from here ): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Another week is almost coming to an end. Oh well. Weekends. Sigh ): Not really looking forward to it. Then again, the class is fun. Learnt a lot of things. Trying to apply in life. Hahas. 3 Cs. Dont Criticize, Condemn and Complain. Of cos, this is only just the first one. For the time being, just remember this first ok people. Will elaborate in details when I am free (: But as for you, dear! You must know it all cos you spend the most time with me. I will test you alright (:

Prata-ed with dear just now. Hahas. We were laughing our heads off la! Funny things happened there. I can't stop laughing man!! HAHAHAHAHAHAS!! The uncle is humourous la! HAHAHAHAHAHAS!

Projects are driving me mad! I NEED MORE TIME TO SLEEP!! Poly is stressful! This whole week is all bout projects, projects and more PROJECTS! Deadlines, deadlines and more DEADLINES!! Oh man! Screw it all! So much to be done! My eyes are popping out already la!

Baby's turn to be stress over VB proj. GAMBATTE DEAR!! TAKE THINGS EASY!! LOVE YA!! ((: *hugssss*

Oh well. I guess I will just update till here. Not in a right state of mind. Im gonna concuss soon. But before that, need to dry clothes first. TIRED! Everyone is now! Haiya!! *grab hair* BYEEEEEE!!

Good morning world! It's all good to take a nap and continue to do my work. It's all good waking at this hour, sitting by my window enjoying the breeze blowing into my room. Oh well. I've learn to take it easy. No point pushing myself so hard till I can't even do a single piece of shit.

For once I did something right by taking a nap first, continue to work aftewhich. First time I am having my breakfast at this time. I told mom to make me my fav half-boiled egg which I haven't been eating for like don't know how long ((: *double yeah-ness* Mom was surprised how come I wake up so early. HAHAHAHAS!

Moral of the story is, don't stress or force yourself to the max. You will snapped like a overstretched rubber band. The more stress/tired you are, the more unproductive you will be ((:

p/s: Gambatte team mates!

Im feeling super duper tired that I dont know what to do. Never have I felt this way. Was on the verge of crying while doing the java project in school just now. I felt useless, and disappointed with myself. I failed as a leader. I haven't been doing what Im suppose to. Sigh! Freaking stressful when I was being so called questioned by Omar. He was bombarding me with questions and that my mind was in a blank, that I kept saying "I dont know" to him.

I am sorry dear for ignoring you just now. I didnt mean to. Just that I dont know what to say. I can't help feeling down. Sigh.

I am so afraid I will sleep on top of my lappy soon. My eyes can barely open ):

Oh well. Gotta get back to work )): Wish me lucks!

So suddenly I am running a slight fever. I was feeling cold before I took a nap just now. Was wearing a jacket when marcus saw and asked, "you very cold meh?". When I woke up, I was having a headache. Still I didnt suspect it was fever till mom came back and touched my neck all of a sudden. She asked why was I so warm and said that I am having a fever. Hmmm. I touched my forehead. Aiyo! Really having fever.

But well. Just a slight one.

Nothing new these days except being real busy. Well. Real busy. Have to reconsider using that word. Though busy, then again, I have been lazy. Leaving things to the last minute when by then, I will start rushing to do like mad. Well. I gotta admit. I haven't been putting in much effort =/ (TIME TO PULL UP YOUR SOCKS RHOWENA CHIA!)

Was sitting on the bench at Blk L, level 4. As I was playing Bejeweled (Super fun I tell you!) on baby's phone, she said something, "your friend,". I couldnt really be bothered who was she talking to as I was VERY engrossed in my game. Then, someone came over to kick my feets. I looked up, SOH SUMIN! Oh my god! She ah! Hahas! Dumb dumb eh! Before she left, she turned to baby, "bye bye turtle!". Baby was stunned! HAHAHAS! I looked at sumin with my jaw opened -.- Sumin ah sumin! Tsk tsk!

Met personal mentor in regards to my attendance. Oh man. I seriously hate the attendance system! 85% and below, possible of being debar. 85%?! Should have lower it to 80% and below! For the benefits of people like me. Yes! Especially me. Well well. Still, I've stop finding excuses for my laziness. Hence, I just kept quiet and nodded at whatever she said.

Anyway, as you can see. For the past 2 entries, baby had been posting for me. Cos I am too lazy. She changed the cursor for me and stuffs. I am just simply too lazy! Thanks baby! And control! Whenever you're on the verge of blowing your top, endure baby! Remember the 3 C's and rule no 2! Im gonna test you when I see you. Hahas! And please stop telling everyone I am ignoring you by playing bejewled! I didnt =/ Hahahas!

Oh well. I gotta get back to do my work and off to bed. Goodnight world!

p/s: Bejeweled is a super nice game! Go here http://www.popcap.com/games/free/bejeweled2

ILOVEYOU BABYYYYY! =)

i'm here to raid again! hahaha! well, i'm just bored ya see! and ya're so into playing bejeweled. that's why! so talk to me alright!! =)

loves! see ya later baby girl! <33

well well well! turtle is her to raid this place! =))
wanna know why?? cause powerpuff is soooo lazyyy! she rather play her Bejeweled game rather then to talk to me and to post, upload songs and to change her cursor! boooos! fine then, i'll post for her =)

posting posting postinggggggg =) oh man! this is dumb!

anyway, just to tell ya baby, ILOVEYOU! =))

alright, i'm outta here! =D


loves,
turtleeeee =))

Oh well. Haven't been blogging for a week. Was very very busy. Esp monday and tuesday. The thoughts of not having enough sleep is driving me mad. Then again, it is also cos of me doing things last minute always. I've got no one to blame except myself.

Yesterday, hasnt been a really good day for me. Sigh. It was all screwed. It started off early this morning. Before the sun even rose into the sky. I wanted to wake up to continue with my work after an hour of so called - nap. But no matter how hard dearie tried to wake me up, i still fell right back to sleep. I even promised to wake up if she promised to sleep by then. Sorry dear! ):

Looked at the clock, 8plus. Weird thing that turtle didnt msg me like usually she would when she wakes up. Called her. She overslept too. I decided not to turn up for innovation proj class since i overslept. Sigh ): Danger danger! I might get debar )):

Woke up for school to attend comm skills lesson. Was about to be late, hence took a cab down to school. Damn! On the way to school, I realised I forgot to bring my vb notes which I needed for my practical test later in the day! WTH! Presentation today for comm skills. Didnt really do well. Screwed! Sigh!

Practical test! TMD! I seriously dont feel like studying anymore. Flung! I FLUNG THE PRACTICAL TEST! Sure bound to get the lowest in class. I guess what I can to do salvage it now is the assignment given. The only chance to pull up my marks. I dont wanna re-take!

Oh well. After school, met turtle as usual. Was told to grab something before going home cos I havent had anything except a piece of cake for the whole day. Decided on quite a number of places where and what to eat. Still, we ended up getting waffles, goreng pisang and the green bean as snacks. Time spent again was short )): I dont like!! *cries*

After dinner, was watching Fear Factor till i dozed off. Mom was saying before she left home, "I dont understand why are you so tired (shaking her head),". Precisely, I dont quite understand too.

Anyway, just some random updates. Some time last week, i think should be wednesday. After school, both turtle and I went home to change before going out for dinner. Was cos I wanted to go back put things and get some stuffs. And also reason being she dont wanna go out wearing formal. Hahas!

After that, took 133, over to lavender market. Cos I have been bugging her to get my pancake. The one with cheese has always been my favourite. SAUSAGE CHEESE PANCAKE! super nice! I never fails to get that whenever i go there. The one with ice cream was what turtle had the other day (: While im still having my pancake, turtle asked if i take orange and uhm carrot i guess? Then she walked off without saying anything. I was like oh shit! She gonna get me that =/ In the end, she came back with my favourite papaya milkshake! Silly her! Hahas! And it was the first time she tried one! WAHAHAHAHAHHAHAS! She tried a lot things for the first time ever since we started hanging out with each other =D




Went for Rochor tau hui after that. OH MAN! GLUTTONS! hahas! Then again, cravings. Tau hui was her craving. Pancake was mine. Took 166 home afterwhich. Sigh! Despite not having much sleep the night before, she still went out with me to satisfy my craving )): Thanks dear!

The day before was madness. And a day full of love! Love is in the air (: Hahahas! Some stupid things that the guy did while we were in the library. It all started off with Zhili la! LOL!




Not forgetting mom's birthday the day before. Went to Thai express for dinner. Bought her a cake. Wahahahahas! You are one year older again mom! Nevertheless, I STILL LOVE YOU! Hmm. Second time, dad wasnt there to celebrate mom's birthday with us )):




Oh well. That's about all i guess! toodles!

p/s: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUMIN! i'll give some of my time to you SOON. hahas!

HAPPY 2008!!

Oh well. I know Im not suppose to be here. Cos I should be doing my Visual Basic assignments (vb in short). Then again, I feel like blogging before starting on my work. Hahas! Oh well.


Anyway. Today is the second day of the new year, year 2008! So did you guys make any new year resolution? I certainly did. And even if I dont, a list of it is already made. By who? None other than my turtle -.-

Okay. Here is how it goes. Ready mates? Here it goes ((: I had a very lovely last day of 2007 (: It is love! Why? Read on. Ha!

Turtle went to school in the morning for DCN pract whereas I didnt. She forbidded me ): I was asked to stay at home to rest cos Im sick. And moreover, Im not sure if lesson is on for my class anot. So I slept in. Sms-ed her when I woke up (fell back to sleep twice while messaging her. oOps!). Told her to go back, get a rest before meeting me.

So, I met her in the late afternoon. Or rather it is already evening, 5.45pm. Headed down to novena to submit her punch card. Walked around next to look for foods. No fried, no spicy. Sigh. Headed to the foodcourt there for dinner. I had japanese food (my fav!). I think it is a pity I am not born a japanese. I super love their foods! Then again, if Im born one, I wouldnt be who I am today. Ha!

After dinner, took 162 from novena to Plaze Sing. Met up with Doreen and her boyf to catch a movie -I am Legend. I have thousands and one unhappiness against that show. Or rather, more than that. Cos that show is CRAPS! Damn stupid show! But what to do, I have already watched that. Oh well.

Then, we walked over from PS to padang. Along the way, turtle was making me laughed non-stop. Oh man. Im not gonna mention here. I will get us into trouble. HAHAS! Wanted to walk over to Esplanade. Then again, it was already so crowded near the padang area. So I doubt we can even squeeze into the crowd at the esplanade. Hence, we decided to stay there to watch the fireworks.

Before the fireworks, I was snapping around randomly. Ha! Doreen and boyf were being forced into taking photos together. Hahas!

part of the fireworks

Oh well. By the time, we finished our supper, it is already like 3am? Ha! Gotta walk back to esplanade to take a night rider home! Oh man! My feets hurts ): Reached home around 4.30am. Bathed and stuffs. Slept at 5plus.

Some random photos. Few days back, went out with mom and her friends. One her friend's son is damn cute! Now you know why I adores kids so much. Hahas! He was posing to let me take a picture of him. I disturbed him by putting the rabbit head. He was giggling non stop. Hahas!

Look at what turtle typed while we were doing vb the other day -.-

I ended 2007 in a very pleasant tone. Or rather, it was sweet. Thanks turtle! Thanks for spending the wonderful night with me. And not forgetting doreen and her boyf of cos. Hahas! The night was ended with fun, joy and more laughters. New year, new resolutions. I shall keep it to myself (:

Night world!

Something is keeping me occupied. I dont feel too good ):

`not a matter of can or cannot, it's a matter if i want or not.

Name: Rhowena Chia(Rho)
Age: 21 years old
Date of Birth: May18 1989
Horoscope Sign: Taurus

Foods do wonders! And makes me happy too! ((:






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