I Got You

When..

Thursday, April 24, 2008 12:52 AM

Sleeping is really a good way to subside all the bad feelings i guess. Last night, before i drifted off to bed, i really couldnt take it any more. All the stress and unhappiness that was going on within me, were trying to break through the wall of endurance. I really feel like giving up everything at the moment. Feel like giving up to work hard for my studies, feel like giving up things that i fighted hard for, feel like doing nothing at all!

Slept at 10plus and woke up at 7am yesterday morning. The feeling was great. I had time to have my breakfast, go online, read thru Data Structure tutorial (though didnt do at all), and listened to music. But why can't this kinda good feeling last till i fall asleep later?

Anyway, yesterday, 22 April 2008 marks the first time of me donating blood. I don't know what makes me wanted to do that. It's just that i always wanted to do but i was afraid of needles. I am proud of myself as i had overcome the phobia of needles. The pain during the donation wasn't as bad i thought. It was in fact bearable. I told myself if i can get through the pain(bad fall) i experienced months back, why not this time? Moreover, this time the surface area that will hurt isn't as wide as last time. And yes, i got it over and done with. Really, it's not that bad.

Yesterday's vb lecture was great. Gilbert is great! He heeded our advices, think of how and prepare the slides to liven the atmosphere during the lecture. I guess, his jokes and lame-ness really did the trick. Almost everyone laughed. That's why i said he is one of the best lecturers i ever have (:

The rest of the day was pretty ok. Just that i don't know what's going on during IPTnet practical lesson. It sounds very alien to me. Walked home alone today. As i was walking with the music blasting into my ears, lots of thing were running through my mind. I realised i cannot be such a slacker anymore. I realised last semester, i failed badly as a leader. I failed to lead my team with example and towards success (meaning getting good grades). I was so bloody damn slack last semester. And it dawned on me that history shouldnt repeat itself again. I shouldn't disappoint my team mates.

And lots more stuffs which i won't be elaborating here. Just some personal reflections. Why am i reflecting so much on myself lately? Good question. Cos i realised there's too much flaws in my personal characters, my attitude and everything. Never mind bout that. Isn't in the right frame of mind.. .. ..

When the whole world turn its back on you, and you've got no one to turn to, the only thing you gotta do is to learn to survive independently.

`I am losing my cool