//I dont wanna go through it time and time again. It sucks, you know it pretty well too. I don't wanna repeat the same old bloody mistakes in my past relationships in each and every new one i get into. It isn't cool, baby. I fear of going through that stage again. I don't want to experience the pain of losing the one i love again due to my repeated mistakes i made. I've learnt my lessons.I guess i've never really talk bout it. My previous r/s ended in a so not nice manner. My ex boyf cheated on me. Or maybe he didn't. I felt so fucking dumb for trusting him too much. I should have known from the start, guys are not to be trusted. Sorry to condemn all the guys out there. But that's the thinking that my family have been trying to get into my head. Trust. How much it worth? Can it even be used to fill your stomach?
Due to our age differences, there isn't much things for us to talk about. Especially our social life. We never talk to each other bout our problems. Take my unhappiness against him, i always choose to keep it to myself. I find that it was pointless to talk it out for i
assume, he won't change. As time goes by, more problems arose. One day, i just couldnt take it anymore. I decided to drift away from him, eventually i initiated the break up. I couldnt take it anymore. The reason i gave was i wanted to focus on my studies and moreover, in future, i plan to study uni in australia. But in actual fact, i just don't wanna be with him anymore. I see too much flaws in that r/s.
After we broke up, he called me very often, having hopes that we can be together again. I clearly know, that's impossible. I don't wish to hurt him. I felt guilty back then for the break up, for putting him through the agony. 2 days later, i accidentally clicked on his blog url and found out some ugly secret of our r/s. He was with another girl during a period of time (
at that point of time when we broke up, they were already no longer together). I was devasted. Still, the dumb me chose to keep to myself, let him continue to pin hopes and hopefully, one day he will get tired of it and give up.
I forgot he is a leo. Leo are know for being very persistance. Once they set their eyes on something, they would find means and ways to get/achieve it. But don't forget, im a taurus. A taurus is very stubborn. Things they don't want, no matter how your force them, they will never do it. I don't wanna be with him, ever again. It was getting on my nerve having to know the fact that i was being cheated on, and yet, i have to take it in my stride, and making it seems i was the one to cause all these agony.
One day, i flared up when we were on the phone. I told him that i've already know everything. He tried cooking up with stories initially to cover his ass. But after me telling him that, i read his blog, he confessed. He said because
he can't bring himself to tell me all his problems for he know i don't understand. And he also commented that,
i always keep things to myself too(
why? cos he never ask me bout my problem sincerely before). All these, we blame on communication breakdown. What a joke! Only at the verge of losing, we realised the problem.
Only then, i realised, to me what is important in a r/s. I am sure, people always ask you what kinda life partner you are looking for. And you will always said something to do with looks, next is being humourous and etc. I used to be like that too. However, after that r/s, my perspective changed. I realised, all these are actually superficial. To me, what matter most is mutual trust and communication.
It takes 2 to tango. Communication is a 2 way thing. In order for things to work out in a r/s, 2 have to iron things out whenever problem arises. If it is personal, yes, you may choose to keep it to oneself for fear you might affect the other party's mood. Fine, that i accept. But if the problem involves the r/s, in other words, involving 2 people, not talking it out will only throw yourself into the emotional rim. And worst, no matter how you put on a strong front, the problems will still not go away. And if mutual trust are absent, if you have so little faith with your partner, why be together in the first place? Aren't you worried that today you 2 might be together, and next moment, he/she will leave you for another?
In conclusion, if you have doubts in your r/s, clear it. Best and simplest way to solve problem in a r/s, is to sit down and talk it out. No doubt, some might get into some heated arguement, but at least 2 let each other know what's wrong with the r/s and how to solve it.
I am not trying to be a love expert or show how experienced i am. Just voicing out how i feel and letting what most people wanna know bout my past r/s. All these are just my views, and of cos, you may beg to differ.
`to me, love is bout compromising, mutual respect & trust. not forgetting constant communication
