// I realised, actually things haven't go back to normal for me yet. Maybe i take things a little too hard.

The lousy mood still lingers ever since afternoon, still feeling upset. What said in the dream keep replaying in my mind. I never remember a dream so clearly before. And never once i got so affected over it, because what said to me in the dream make sense. Upset that mom flared up on me just now over some stupid matters. Upset that i feel my life is in a mess and that i don't know what to do with it anymore. Thought i would see baby tonight, but didn't. Yes, i was disappointed.

Side-tracked a little. Just came back from study and mustafa trip with g and siqi. Feel like being alone, so asked g to drop me home first as they're were going for supper. Study was pretty alright. And mustafa is nothing amazing. To me, it's like some malaysia lok gok shopping center. But what's different is the smell. Oh well. Nothing much to comment actually. Wanted to use the laptop. Thought it was fine until it hung, eventually died on me. When i on it, it shows me blue screen. WTF! Sigh! I will see what i can do with it.

Just now G prompted me something out of the blue, "are you cheerful like before?". Felt so weird. Why did he asked me this? Well, come to think of it. Maybe i isn't anymore compare to the 1st day he know me.

Don't know why am i feeling so heavy-hearted all of a sudden. All i feel within now is so empty and cold. Feel so much like crying. I need a comfort. I want baby's hug and shoulder to cry on now. But it's not possible. How i wish she is here with me. Hug me to sleep for at least i know if i were to have bad dreams again, she will be here comforting me. All this will never happen i guess. At least not so soon.

Maybe i should go missing again. Maybe i should start working every single day to keep my mind occupied, to make myself tired. I couldn't stand it anymore. I hate it when my mind wanders. And i hate myself all of a sudden for being so temperamental, for being so weak ):

Labels: myself, Poly mates, Work

Name: Rhowena Chia(Rho)
Age: 21 years old
Date of Birth: May18 1989
Horoscope Sign: Taurus

Foods do wonders! And makes me happy too! ((:






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